Well its time that I applied what I wrote about in my last post.
I called him today. I'm not gonna lie, I missed talking to him. I went to B&N and saw a section of theology books and it reminded me of my theological debating. I heard some news that set me a back. Maybe because I'm still in mourning of the relationship, at least enough to know that I'm not ready to jump into another serious relationship. So to find out that he is now engaged to a girl he started dating 2 months ago, four months after we broke up after our 3 years is quite painful for me. But he didn't understand the pain. I could hear it in his voice... His voice was even taunting at some points of our conversation, and he even chuckled.
You confused me.
I cried long and hard. I felt replaceable. More than me, I felt my love was replaceable. Tell me that I didn't love you? You told me that I wasn't being replaced, because I wasn't yours but what about the love I gave you? I couldn't put my feelings into words. I couldn't speak. I kept running through all the things you had told me:
That if we broke up, it would take you a lot of time to heal, to fall in love again.
"Even though birth has placed you in a cell..." and all the words that all all the other poem had.
I looked at the stuffed dog with a heart in its mouth you gave me. I sprayed the heart with your cologne before spring break so i could still smell you. I've gotten rid of all the other stuff. But for some reason the dog is too cute and soft to get rid of.
I had given you my heart, and the value of it was lost on you. While I have moved on to a great guy (nothing too serious tho), I still remember you in little things. Just wondering how you were doing.
So really. I do wish you and your future bride nothing but happiness, prosperity, and everything else you could want. So far all the friends that I've told said "It won't last," but honestly thats not what I want. I want y'all to last. marriage is a scared commitment that shouldn't be taken lightly or planned with an escape route. You seemed happy, and honestly i could wish nothing better for you.
I called him today. I'm not gonna lie, I missed talking to him. I went to B&N and saw a section of theology books and it reminded me of my theological debating. I heard some news that set me a back. Maybe because I'm still in mourning of the relationship, at least enough to know that I'm not ready to jump into another serious relationship. So to find out that he is now engaged to a girl he started dating 2 months ago, four months after we broke up after our 3 years is quite painful for me. But he didn't understand the pain. I could hear it in his voice... His voice was even taunting at some points of our conversation, and he even chuckled.
You confused me.
I cried long and hard. I felt replaceable. More than me, I felt my love was replaceable. Tell me that I didn't love you? You told me that I wasn't being replaced, because I wasn't yours but what about the love I gave you? I couldn't put my feelings into words. I couldn't speak. I kept running through all the things you had told me:
That if we broke up, it would take you a lot of time to heal, to fall in love again.
"Even though birth has placed you in a cell..." and all the words that all all the other poem had.
I looked at the stuffed dog with a heart in its mouth you gave me. I sprayed the heart with your cologne before spring break so i could still smell you. I've gotten rid of all the other stuff. But for some reason the dog is too cute and soft to get rid of.
I had given you my heart, and the value of it was lost on you. While I have moved on to a great guy (nothing too serious tho), I still remember you in little things. Just wondering how you were doing.
So really. I do wish you and your future bride nothing but happiness, prosperity, and everything else you could want. So far all the friends that I've told said "It won't last," but honestly thats not what I want. I want y'all to last. marriage is a scared commitment that shouldn't be taken lightly or planned with an escape route. You seemed happy, and honestly i could wish nothing better for you.
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